I don’t want this to turn into a rant – but I feel in a ranting mood. It may be that I am not good at taking criticism, or it may just be that I am getting too embroiled in analysing my situation.

I have my TT assessment class in a couple of weeks. My teacher took me aside and told me that I needed to soften my approach as she had had ‘feedback’ that my classes were difficult and that the students didn’t feel I could empathise with their ‘pain’/’efforts’ or whatever. That I gave off the impression that I stood on my pedestal at the front of the class with my good practice and thought that I was better than everyone else. She subsequently said that she knew that I didn’t think I was better than everyone else, it was just the impression I gave.

I appreciate that she can give me whatever feedback she likes, but she hasn’t told me whether the feedback was from 3 months ago in India, or from the one person that I didn’t know who attended my practice class. I am perfectly happy to try and change my teaching technique and to have a softer approach, but part of my style is my personality. I take my yoga seriously, and I teach yoga in a serious manner. I still have lots to learn, and I don’t even intend to teach regular yoga classes. This course was more for self development than anything else.

I then talked about it to a friend, and her take was that it was because yoga had turned into a competition between my teacher and I. This REALLY annoys me. If my practice is good, it is because I put a lot of time into it. I DO NOT compete with my teacher, if that is other peoples perception, it is plainly wrong. It is MY practice and I practice it because I want to. I am actually sick of practising in a class environment, not because I feel like it is a competition, but because my practice is so personal to me that I don’t want to have to share it in a class situation. The idea that I might get up and do yoga every day because I want to have a better practice than anyone else is stupid and absurd. It actually makes me so mad that I want to stop practising with this group of people all together.

Do I feel any better for the rant? No, not really. I guess I am just counting the hours until the TT is over and I can get on with my own thing.

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