I have been to another shala this week, certainly with mixed emotion. The only reason I have done this is because I’m having trouble scheduling my practice to fit into the time available at AYL.
It has got to the point at AYL that almost every day I am there I wait, then only do half a practice or make a decision to get to work late. This introduces stress into my practice, which isn’t a good thing.
None-the-less, I feel very conflicted about the change. I love the feeling of community at the shala, I love H and the assistants. I suppose I feel like I am deserting my teacher and that I should try to make changes to my routine in order to fit in to what might work at the shala, but at the end of the day, I really can’t.
As I am not in the position to make other people stop practicing at AYL or make the space bigger, I need to make other changes myself for the sake of my practice. I am reminding myself that it is my practice and I need to do what is best for me. How strong should an attachment to a teacher be? It feels odd to say ‘I am not going to practice with a teacher’ only because I can’t fit it into my schedule. So, at the moment I need to weigh up the advantages and disadvantages or practising somewhere else. Does loyalty to my teacher make up for the inconvenience and unpredictability of my practice at the moment?
My experience at TY hasn’t been bad this week. On the first day I didn’t get many adjustments, but fair enough. I would expect a teacher to want to see my whole practice before adjusting. As I understand it, the teacher is only covering for the regular teacher who is in Mysore for a couple of months. He had a whole room of new faces this week, so it will take him some time too.
Today was better, being recognised as somebody who is dedicated to actually turning up to practice (most of the time!). I got a good adjustment in Supta K and was held there for about 10 breaths, and also had an amazingly strong adjust in Baddha konasana, which is rather a ‘nemesis’ in my practice.
I also had a bit of a mental revolution today and whilst waiting for assistance to drop back I psyched myself up and actually did one on my own. In the past I have shied away from trying in case I fall because I am tired. Standing waiting I thought to myself ‘why am I not doing this on my own, I know I can, ok, it hurts a bit, but lets try….‘
Advantages which actually don’t really weight my decision include having 6 feet of space around the mat rather than 6 inches (ok, slight exaggeration), a reasonably good temperature, being able to have my glasses close at hand when practising, and of course, having a shower on site… There aren’t really any disadvantages other than having a different teacher, and having to get on the Central line!!!
But even after writing all of this my head is saying, do you really need to leave your current teacher?
How do I make the choice?
May 7, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Good for you with the drop back!
I don’t envy your position. It’s difficult when you like the teacher but the circumstances are hard, and if I were you, I wouldn’t be able to change my routine any more than you already do.
Having “lost” a teacher recently and gotten back one who’s been beautiful for my practice, I can offer some of my own experience, which was that when I was so dreadfully upset that one door was closing, another one opened and my practice has been reinvigorated in an amazing way. This is despite the fact that I no longer have a shower and it’s harder to get to and I get up earlier. But it’s less crowded, and that does matter to me, etc.
It’s our practice, and that is the constant.
The choice will become apparent to you.
xoxo! roar, meoweth, shoes, pazzles, etc.
May 7, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Convenience matters! As does space
Give the new place some time to see if it works better for you
May 8, 2009 at 5:13 am
Well, H is always going to be there. The move doesn’t have to be permanent. Maybe you can think of it this way? You could even speak to him – he does understand that people have a life outside the shala and sometimes that life makes strong demands on them!
May 8, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Hi Claire,
I like all the comments above… like V said, at least H will always be there, you don’t have to think of this as a forever sort of deal. I understand your dilemma, though. I would freak out if I couldn’t go to my current teacher (well, of course, with me it’s more complicated- but still).
At least you have an option that may not be perfect, but is still pretty good. And who knows, maybe when the regular teacher returns from Mysore you’ll find new inspirations!
Finally- congrats on the drop back! Your description cracked me up because it’s how I’ve learned a few things (waiting for help and then thinking, “hmm… wonder if I can do this on my own?” and then doing it!). Great!
May 9, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I am the opposite, I end up at AYL some Sunday’s because I can’t get to my shala/teacher of choice in time to have the practice I want, thanks of the Central Line closures. That said I have ended up being semi regular at both shala’s and both sets of teachers/assistants have come to know and encourage my practice and they pick up on different things.
Brilliant dropback video, I don’t have the nerve to go for the floor without assistance.
May 11, 2009 at 10:32 am
Is H looking for a bigger shala? I understand your dilemma, but the queues, cutting practice short, getting to work late and the pressure of all that hanging over practice is something I wouldn’t put up with. I’d have a chat with him as V said.. he has to know that people can’t put up with the wait. This is London, not Mysore, and there’s already not enough time for everything…
May 11, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Hmmmm…with due respect, Susan, maybe I’m being overprotective of H, but even though this is not Mysore and London, he still can choose to have a shala of any size he wants. I guess the implication that we can make demands on him rubs me a bit the wrong way?